One of our strengths, and also one continual topic of conversation for us is the division of labor for household chores. If I walk the dog in the morning, Charles walks the dog at night. If I’ve done dishes the last few times, Charles pitches in with a load or two. However, our finely tuned system is never impervious to renegotiation. Both of us are overly concerned with fairness, a concept that poses an ever-moving target. Each of us, it would seem, has the better end of the deal, according to the other's judgement. And each of us has the worst end of the deal, according to our own.
Consider the distribution of food and water for our dog’s needs. Poor Roxy has been at the center of many a disagreement, with regards to who has to feed or water her. Charles contends that, were it not for him, our dog would die of thirst. This isn’t true. When Charles is out of town, Roxy never wants for water. But the way I look at it, when Charles is so good at giving her water on a daily basis, who am I to interrupt a perfectly good routine?
This arrangement was not born out of mutual agreement, a fact that became quite apparent when years of resentment came to fruition. Charles’s complaint: How come we split the feeding duties, when Charles was the only one providing water?
Here is the true sign of my growth as part of a couple, as a wife, as a human being. I heard Charles’s argument on this point, and I agreed with him. Clearly, the system was only working for one of us. I certainly had no complaints. But, to make it work for both, I proposed an alternate plan. How about one of us feeds the dog and one of us takes care of her water? Done. So now, the hydration of little Roxy Puppyton lies solely in my capable hands. And you know what? She hasn’t gone thirsty yet.
Even if Charles has to remind me every now and again.
